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EICMA 2019......my part in the SHOW
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2bims



Joined: 03 Apr 2010
Posts: 7289

PostPosted: Mon Apr 13, 2020 8:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

OK....EICMA.....sort of....DAY One....press day....but as I had received a message from Giuseppi Morri in person.....that the Bimota big unveil was NOT going to be on the Tuesday opening day..the only day we had planned to visit and attend....but at 1pm on the following Wednesday.....I had planned to meet with Messr Morri and meet him in person on this Tuesday.....But heck...we had loads of time....and chose to recover with a little lie in to recharge our flattened batteries.....so...a quick 20mins journey and we'd be there to meet him of course.....Well....that "WAS" the plan....but like all hastily arranged plans ….shit and Rat.....thats what it became....but with a nice story to tell of upper ineptitude....either on The Italians part....or the destitute hapless Brits going blindly into the unknown....entitled....."The dear and the departed, The Lost Boys....Dumb and Dumber....Planes Trains and Automobiles.....How the War was one....Groundhog Day....."We had the story line of many a great movie on "day One"....

Breakfast was done in a thrice...as it always is in Villa Lorenzo...you rock upstairs from your room to an empty soulless room of white white.....everythings white......You purvey with your best searching eyes and locate the coffee machine....which you have to put your own water in...and then find the secret hidden "on" button on the back thats out of sight....then you open the fridge...and choose a bottle of juice based solely on what you "think" the picture of fruit on the front represents...…..You crack the lid....You attempt to drink....but the solid pulp baby food stays solid....not one drop eminates forth.....You realise that you've forgotten to carry your baby spoon with you as the aperture is too small for a normal teaspoon....Well....thats the "five a day" outa the way....On with the coffee....Ah...small packets of dry biscuits....or "breakfast" as its called......Oh...hang on...small samples of jam in miniature jars.....lovely....Now wheres the bread....? Butter? Toaster?.....Nope...none of them....so the jars are "to Go"...and later presents for my father....Then...as if by Magic....the Shop Keeper appears.....Hello....He's as surprised to see us as we are to see him...Yes...we told him we were having a lie in....it was 8.30am.....a long lie in...apparently in such sleepy suburbs of Italy....this is their "early rise" rather than a lie in...So....he sees us...we see him...and he disappears as soon as he has appeared....we're done now....a biscuit each and 2 coffees....and opened but untouched jars of baby food.....we wait....he returns...after a short bicycle ride to the local patisserie....eh Voila....he plonks One sugary topped croissant on to a plate a piece for us....and then stands to attention...asking if theres anything else we would like....the Word "breakfast....Full English....or just some friggin bread and a toaster crosses our minds...and butter for me...but no....When in Rome......so we say no.....everythings FINE....No...it really is EVERYTHINGS FINE.....Its gavs go to morning greeting to his dear other half...when he phones and acts as a alarm clock for her each and every morning...I've asked him if he's ever heard of "Binatone"....or "Philips" if he's feeling rich....but its a nice routine thats played out each morning....

All Corissanted Out....we exit the premises.....already looking forward to lunch....as we havent actually had breakfast as such....

So here we are...or rather...not yet....The Press Pass from Bimota...Woo Hoo….





"12 wise Men" also set off in an alternate universe to the same venue at the same time within that alternate Universe.....Unfortunately none of them was in the car with "dumb and Dumber".....So...we perused the Tickets...The PRess Passes....my version of which was so kindly printed off by the man servant at the hotel that morning....as it had only just come thru via email on the first day of the event at that day.....Theres a reason why you should never complain....whether it be a pawltry breakfast that a starving Ethiopian would baulk at...or at least raise an upturned lip/eyebrow....As Karma says you'll need this man later....such later being just 2 minutes...AND....but later...he also saved our skins on our last day...when he could have chosen not to....

We peruse Press passes...and type in the address for EICMA as written on the passes....SAT nav is GO.....Excited....I've never been to EICMA before....but have heard great reports....Someone else has been to Eicma before...same bike show...same venue.....Its believed that the person I was sharing this journey with is this very same person....But I think that person on this day...was in the alternate universe with the other remaining 11 wise men....

And we travelled...battling thru rush hr traffic...and taking in the sights...snap snap









Big buildings...Big BUildings…..Trams and buses and traffic....and 2 hapless fools...."you have arrived"...WooHoo…..Hhmm...THese big buildings are very tall buildings....."Anything look familiar?" I tentatively venture to my compratriat ?....Around and around we go.....ever decreasing circles...you have Arrived.....Nah....never been here before....A quick google on swipey swipey phone....hard typing Italian addresses in ruddy vowels are all very close on a qwerty keyboard....Hhmm…...Yes the address is correct...and yes...we are at that address...Google says its the HEad office address of the Company organising and promoting the event....Yup....they put their address on the tickets...BUT...not a single word nor peep nor hide nor hair of the actual address where the friggin Bike show is at!!!!!!

So...we ask Sat Nav to find "exhibition centres"...and we drive from hit to hit....until Old man No Memory...receives a Mental visual clue/reminder....

Hello tram....We meet again....



Hello White van....Seen any bikers anywhere?



Hello tram....can you tow us to Eicma?



Now in "our" defence....not that one is needed.....as we were both in an "Adventure"...just not the one we had planned....But we are both wise enough to mull and think....and not chastise or apportion blame....it doesnt achieve anything when its "2's company....3's a crowd"....3 persons...will gang up on the weak and throw the sacrificial lamb onto the fire ….2 people talking as opposed to 2 idiots shouting is the difference between a conversation and an argument......We are both of the same Old skool that when approaching a T junction and the car at the front goes left...and the following other 8 cars behind that and in front of us also...also go left...whats to say the "leader" is just guessing?...and the hapless fools behind just following "thinking" the one in front knows more than them?....Whats wrong with the right turn I've always pondered....Gav is of the opinion..."why cant I go straight ahead?...Why isn't there a straight ahead? Ah...Fook it...I'm going straight ahead.....neither if us would go left....never would be turn around....And I like a mystery of untrodden ground...so am also partial to the "no option" straight ahead

Back to the "defence".....I am originally from Madchester....A large City....It has the "Madchester Exhibition Arena"...as in Singular....Big Gav is from Scotland....There...they have "The Scottish Exhibition Centre"...which is in Gavs home city.....the SEC...singular....One of them....for the WHole country...as thats what Scotland is....a COUNTRY...far bigger than Milan...which is just a "city"....

Well...>It appears that certain "impoverished" countries like Italy...can have many many exhibition centres...and all in the same damn city...so we ping around like a huge ball bearing on the "Death dumb and Blind Kids" real life pinball game....from one SatNav hit of an "Exhibition Centre" to another.....Good old sat nav....we keep homing on on "next nearest....next nearest.....on and on....time is ticking....Wishing that breakfast had more substance to it than the reality.....Tank is full...So fag breaks for me are non-existent.....

Ah-Ha!....said the Icelandic Pop band from the 80's....this looks familiar...."one of us" said.....





Car parks entry....oh this is going to be great...being one of only a few chosen few...to wander around a bike show thats empty of hoomans….

Many select points were "snapped" so we could retrace our steps to retrieve the vehicle...after had already been a tiresome day





The surveyor in me marvels at how the fook I'd quantify and order the materials for this structure....the engineer in Gav wants to see the design calcs and loading masses and torque settings...."yup...this is the place...I recall it well now...Buenos Aires!"...this is the limit of Gavs Italian.....







And this is the queue for opening up....random 20 or so folk...Highly immaculately dressed...lean and mean...Versace suits and YSL leather attache cases....and thats just the women....men were even more stunning....The 2 "brits"...were not so much dressed to impress...More like "dressed to clean the toilets..."...Gav looked down in shame...I sat down lit a fag and looked up the skies...accepting my position in life....as I have done many times before....

I dont know what this is...or what you do with it...but apparently some techno geeks use this to download the press pack info....I'm still looking for the 3D image inside it of a string of elephants dancing...More later...I have to lick the butter from my croissants off my fingers...and the keyboard



Please let me know if anyones reading this...or enjoying it...Its very hard playing to an empty stadium.....and then receiving no reviews....There will be pictures of "The New Bimota.."...and other bikes...and babes of course...so...if you want to see these and more...please vote now and put your mark....If theres no voters...theres no outcome
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2bims



Joined: 03 Apr 2010
Posts: 7289

PostPosted: Mon Apr 13, 2020 8:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

All I can add at this "juncture" is that the "Ah Ha" eureka comment from my Brazilian friend....was not so much Icelandic Pop band from the 80's...but more 90's "Alan Partridge" senior moment...….

Anyone want to buy an Oracle Computer operating system?..I have many good contacts that I've recently made....
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brian



Joined: 22 Aug 2011
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Location: Australia

PostPosted: Mon Apr 13, 2020 9:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

2bims wrote:
Heres one for BRian to be going on with....Never mind the ride thats under....just imagine being the ride from down under....(Hope you like the Aussie connotation …..Thought hard about this one....mixing sexual innuendo with bikes and linking to a Continent


Brian approves Laughing I appreciate the effort 2bims
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brian



Joined: 22 Aug 2011
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 13, 2020 9:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

2bims wrote:


Please let me know if anyones reading this...or enjoying it..



Yep and yep...... carry on
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'99 DB4 #104, '96 SB6 #1165, '94 DB2 J #652, '99 DB4 #088, '08 VTX1800, '93 ZXR750R M1, '95 ZXR750, '95 ZXR750 Race Bike, '94 CBR400rr NC29 Race Bike, '94 CB250, '49 BSA C10 250, '61 BSA A10 650, '89 ZXR750, '91 Ducati 851
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2bims



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PostPosted: Thu Apr 16, 2020 10:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Update.....So....Having fully cleaned the toilets at the "Oracle Operating System" Convention at the San Cero Expo Centre in Central Milan.....we eventually decided we were Right Day...Wrong location....bid our farewells to the well dressed Italians and their laptops....and thought...."lets Run"...and see if perhaps we could source an alternative "convention centre" anywhere in Italy...and perhaps one with some motorbikes as opposed to laptops within it

So we drove



And then drove some more



and then back to here



And here

Again





And here again...dear old lady was still waiting for a safe time to cross....we didn't give her one....




Now....from this one point onwards...Names and faces have been changed to protect the innocent....and the guilty......Lets just say....maybe "smibowt" suggested....or was it "vaG" that we should perhaps google "EICMA" and see if there was a General Enquiries phone number.....we did...there was one....Should we phone it?...."nah....for fooks sake....no one will answer it....we're in Italy.....Number was phoned....whilst silence rained down in the car....2 trings and Bon Journo.....Oooo....A HOOMAN.....Bon Journo...I am English....or Scottish...depending on who made the call....Where is Eicma? Do you have a postcode for EICMA?.....8 digits later Sat nav took us to Eicma….Finally.....

Never say never....and to pre Judge is Prejudice....its where it comes from.....Nice Italian man...spoko perfecto inglis…..which is more than can be said for one of us....teehee

Hoards of bikers...friggin 1,000's of them...all dressed as scroats….like me....Hhmm...Seems to be that every man, dog, child and in-betweens work for the Press in Italy.....

THe BOX....OPEN the Box...!!!!...Designed by "CNC" on here....aka Yul Bryner….one damn fine looking fellow...which is more than can be said for either Vag or Smibowt



Now.....excuse me here....because this is relevant even if not PC.....If....just if....You ever... are EVER wanting or considering to invest in some fancy artwork (aside from Bimotas)….or perhaps purchase some pop memorabilia.....or some new start up techno gizmo.....do your homework...ask insiders and friends...phone or contact everyone you know....and everyone you dont know...and then...if still not decided...DO not phone Gav.....he is the proverbial Black Death ridden Albatross perched on the poop desk of the Marie Celeste....just before it gets hit by an iceberg and goes done Titanic style ….. Faces changed due to HMRC using facial recognition software on Forums....(thats dem Tax Boys...for folks outside of the UK)….so faces have been changed...I'll leave Vag...sorry Gav to explain if he feels he needs/wants to

Here is the BOX....THE BOX...with whatever Bimota have made...and its on the Kawasaki Stand at EICMA 2019...this is what we've driven 1200 miles to come and see.....well...maybe 1400 miles considering our many circular tours and bisects of Milan in the morning and time at the computer convention....



We asked a Nice Japanese man if he'd take out photo stood in front of the box.....a heavily guarded box with a thin black curtain on the front....we did think about asking him to step back a bit...back a bit...and darting behind the curtain...But...it was my phone he was holding to take the photo...with my credit cards and cash inside the case...

Whos the Tallest? Rolf or Gary?...Long held debate this one



My God....WE found it....the place...the bikes...the bikers...the Kawasaki stand....the BOX....but Kneweth not what was within.....there was no-one around we knew to try and smarm our way in a sneak review of what "we could have won"...Was it a speedboat...a car....or lots of white goods for the kitchen?

We would have to wait another day...as that was THE day of the big reveal....We'd missed meeting Mr Vdue...who was hand carrying some bejewelled Vdue goodies....and we'd also missed Mr Morri….who was carrying a signed and annotated copy of the Bimota Bible MkII to give to me....although he had promised his son would return the next day to redeliver....just like DHL

We sauntered around a little...looked at a few bikes...then sodded off back to the same Villa Lorenzo for a much needed night out of lubrication, nourishment and amusement...Letting go of the days travesties and trials.....BUT...we didn't leave BEFORE we had logged the vehicles position at the TRUE EICMA....on its sat nav database....so we could safely return the next day...for the big unveil

Il Dollaro….closed the previous night....NOW open...date with destiny...and the 3 lovely lasses





We asked for our "usual" starter....a starter thats not on the menu....a starter that I saw a year earlier on the menu...same location...different time....a creamy peppercorn alfredo tagliatelle dish with crusty crunchy caramellised bacon lard-ons....all freshly made...piping hot and delish....I still recall Gavs face when this dish turned up some 18 months ago and was presented to me...in front of me...at the table shared with Gav....as I had ordered.....I fondly recall Gavs face looking at it....and enquiring what it was...what was in it...as I slurped at the pasta..and crunched on the crispy bits and cracked the whole peppercorns on my back gnashers….and I still recall him looking back to his steaming cold plate or "Buffalo Tomatoe y Mozzerella".....Quite simply...large slices of large tomato...and large slices of cheese...cut straight from the fridge...and slapped on a plate...No pretence of cooking or any imagination...cheese and tomato...and Gav doesnt do Veg,,,so...just cheese...cold cheese....back to my plate...back to his..back to mine...it was like a long running tennis rally as his eyes darted back and forth....with glee...distain...glee...distain....hope...and sorrow...hope ..and sorrow...."oh for christs sake Gav"...here...have half of mine...."No...I'M FINE!!…."...fine is never fine when emphatically pronounced so....dishes were shared...pizza options were left to me due to my familiarity with Pizza Express menus....the words being in Italian and English....so I knew the Italian for what I liked..."Diavolo….Etna...Pimiento....salami....funghi...Quattro Formaggi...And CONQUO formaggi….that was a new one to me....I then became...from that moment forward...official menu reader and orderer of all food purchased where pictures were not included on the menu...or couldn't be pointed at...

Beer...Wine...Any Pasti...Olives...BREAD....BUTTER...you have to ask for butter...they dont give you butter...anywhere in Italy...its forbidden....I believe....

And then....Oh my...Gavs on song...and out come the cocktails...Large dessert spoon used to gauge scale and size



A couple of these each were consumed...on top of the wine and the beers beforehand...Oh I do miss Italy
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2bims



Joined: 03 Apr 2010
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PostPosted: Thu Apr 16, 2020 11:49 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

And...HEre is the guilty party......rubbing his hands in "glee" as he concocts his Wonder Potions.....like an evil warlord....designing a concoction to leave me way way behind on the drinking stakes and cast me under the bus for the next morning.....leaving me jaded and defenceless...and "strangely mute"...I dont do drinks no more...I dont like the bluntening of the mind and loss of sharpness and quick wit and repartit…..But..I suppose it gives gav some much needed "quiet time"......I had a plan though...not that I carry a grudge....but revenge would be sweet....

faces changed to protect the innocent...with faces of know guilty parties....Track this boy down Mr Taxman....quite easy to locate

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2bims



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PostPosted: Thu Apr 16, 2020 12:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

DAY Two - EICMA....the Big reveal...although...it had been leaked to the press...and the bike...its details and pictures were now on line...we had a leisurely lie in....followed by our one croissant breakfast.....and sauntered over to preset Sat nav co-ordinates.....

The Box was open...well...at 1pm it was open...and I had the pleasure of meeting Giuseppi Morri's son...who kindly handed over a signed and annotated copy of the Bible Mk III





And what was in the Box?



























Piere Luigi Marconis own personal Tesi1D...Kawasaki wanted on the original tesis' that started it to be there...but with a Kawasaki engine it it...Uuuuhhhhhh….No...They never made one with a Kwacker engine in....Steep learning curve for the Boys from the Land of the Rising Son

















SUPERCHUGGER







And now....as per the script as always...THE Big Picture



































"Thats all Folks"....apparently there was much much deliberation over which postcard images were to be used on the backdrop of the box....it would seem that "some people" wanted only bimotas with Japanese engines in them from a certain company in Japan....but it was felt...nay..."co-erced" that the spiritual successor should be shown with some "before" pictures of other Tesis...and Other conventional sprung Bimotas.....and not just KB1, KB2, and KB3.....hence the tesi3D café racer making the cut...alas though...No Borsalino.....

Shout up if anyone wants more pictures of Eicma of more bikes...more babes...and...how... later...I got Gav back for the cocktail libation and infusion that K'od me for most of the next day....No "Brian"...not you...Youre a given....just trying to find out if theres just you and me on here reading this...I know you are....but I could just messenger this off to you and save me the time to upload and post otherwise....
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Gavin944888



Joined: 29 Jan 2014
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Location: Essex....way South of Scotland

PostPosted: Thu Apr 16, 2020 1:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

All OK 2Bims....although not sure about the Rolf Harris and Gary Glitter images but "........hey ho

The Taxman reference relates back to an inspection I had

Anyway, during the investigation they say......We understand that you have a ponchaunt for Italian motorcycles......I asked what a ponchaunt was?

They had found out via social media and forums out there my fondness for unusual/rare bikes....be careful

As for Rolf Harris, we have an original painting ....it’s in the bathroom

I also invested in SKULLY.....do not ask for my advise on art or any US tech start ups.

Back to the show....

2Bims met up with the Morri family and I met up with MariaElena who was fielding questions from everyone including The Moto Amore guys.

We met with CNC from this forum and the actual CNC engineers used for the H2Tesi project aswell as companies supplying Bimota past and present

I got to talk to the Kawasaki Business Development Director who worked on the Bimota purchase and integration

A very knowledgable guy and full of passion........was very suprised to discover the prototype Bimota Supercharger was still alive

MariaElena was delight to talk to and was full of admiration for the new venture

We probably spent a good 90 mins being shown and introduced after the press scrum at the initial unveiling

I really enjoyed it but some of the audience were not so happy by the back clapping and well done being taken by the old Swiss Owners

We spoke to some suppliers who were still owed monies from previous projects

In order to get the new project off the ground....suppliers had to be paid and I do not mean new suppliers...old suppliers ..for old supplies

If they can get Italian styling married to Japanese management and financial control....Bimota will be here for a while

If I could get over the main fairing starting in front of the wheel spindle styling......I would buy one

But I can’t........not yet....but I really hope that Bimota are at the next EICMA

So....there you go....tales from the show


Regards

Gavin
The Scottish Engineer
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Gavin944888



Joined: 29 Jan 2014
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Location: Essex....way South of Scotland

PostPosted: Thu Apr 16, 2020 2:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

BTW.....where are ALL the images of the female models?




Cheers
Gavin
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On an Island in the River Thames!

Cagiva Elefant 888/955 & adventure sidecar
Cagiva Elefant 999r engined
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2bims



Joined: 03 Apr 2010
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PostPosted: Thu Apr 16, 2020 3:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Gavin944888 wrote:
BTW.....where are ALL the images of the female models?




Cheers
Gavin


They're coming gav...they're coming...I might be an "old pointy hat" at posting piccies up...and words...but...it does take time...friggin lots of it.....still have to upload images....but should be here tomorrow....and with tales of how the fook did we manage 2 days at eicma...instead of the planned 1 day...yet still catch an earlier train back on the chunnel...on the same day we had planned to be back???...dr who's tardis has nothing on us boys....Rolf and Garry???...shite me....is that who they are???...I just asked Google for famed icons from the 80's in the uk whist I was growing up....


Last edited by 2bims on Thu Apr 16, 2020 4:47 pm; edited 1 time in total
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stockcar



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PostPosted: Thu Apr 16, 2020 4:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You just need their mate 'Jimmy' to have the full set........... Laughing
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2bims



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PostPosted: Thu Apr 16, 2020 4:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just wait stock car...and dont forget it's a knock out fellow... dlt....the list goes on....sir cliff?...is he really innocent?...or just not yet proven guilty....I draw the line at Barrymore though....a father of a child died in that tale of woe...
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2bims



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PostPosted: Thu Apr 16, 2020 4:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

stockcar wrote:
You just need their mate 'Jimmy' to have the full set........... Laughing


Oh....enjoying the story so far??...the narrators need feedback from readers...otherwise me and vag will just reminisce via the phone...real old skool style..
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PaulDB2



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PostPosted: Thu Apr 16, 2020 7:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Great tale by both protagonists, looking forward to more'model' pictures Very Happy
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2bims



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PostPosted: Thu Apr 16, 2020 7:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

PaulDB2 wrote:
Great tale by both protagonists, looking forward to more'model' pictures Very Happy


Good to know youre still alive PaulDB2....as I rarely call nowadays that I know that 10.30am is too early to wake you....And a "pre-crumpet" DB2 is not the best to be chatting to.....until fully nourished

More tomorrow
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